Porthos' Star Logs
by PJ in NH
Summary: A day in a dog's life in space. Impulse Log has been Uploaded Porthos is back!
1. Porthos' Enterprise Premier Log

Title: Portho's "Enterprise Premier" Log - A Day in a Dog's Life   
Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos   
Part: 1/1   
NEW  
Date: September 2001  
Summary: What is a puppy to do?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.   
  
Special thanks to Danae who's Delta Dog stories inspired me.  
  
A Day in a Dog's Life  
9/01  
  
Who knew? Papa said "goferride" and just like I always do I got  
very excited. I howled and jumped up and down. Goferride has  
always been better than goferwalk or goferrun. I never did like  
goferswim too much. Beagles don't like swimming as much as other  
dogs.   
  
Anyway the other day he said "goferride" and I happily went a  
long. How was I to know that this ride was gonna last this long?   
So here I am stuck in this tin can. Couldn't Papa at least have  
brought along a tree? Heck, I'd settle for a bush or a potted  
palm! All these years of being a good puppy and not doing *it*  
inside and now he expects me to? Does he have any idea what  
constipation is?   
  
Well things aren't all that bad. Papa keeps on talking about ths  
bitch.   
  
End log.  
  
Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net 


	2. Porthos' Fight or Flight Log

NEW: Porthos' "Flight or Flight" Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Fight or Flight" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos   
Part: 1/1   
NEW  
Date: September 2001  
Summary: What is a puppy to do in "Fight or Flight"?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
  
Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.   
  
Special thanks to Danae who's Delta Dog stories inspired me.  
  
A Day in a Dog's Life  
10/01  
  
Puppy Log....Stardate.......um...Stardate... I don't know...I'm  
just a dog.  
  
Anyway, where was I?  
  
Last time I made a report I was complaining about the lack of  
...what does Papa call it? Oh yeah pha-silly-tees. I call it a  
tree, bush, or whatever...much easier. Well I still don't have a  
tree. Maybe I should talk to Papa's friend Trip. I like him, he  
talks funny though...kinda like a coon dog I shared a kennel with  
once. I remember ol' Blue, he could howl really good.  
  
What was I saying? Oh, yeah, I need to talk to Trip, he might be  
able to help me he likes hound dogs. I'll have to wait for a  
little bit, everyone is busy on this tin can right now. It's been  
shaking and everything. I'm hoping that if it shakes a little  
bit more that plate with the cheese on it will fall on the floor.   
I just love that cheddy cheese...actually I like Swissy cheese  
too, and goooda, and...well I just like cheese period, except for  
that smelly limburgie stuff, but that stuff makes a good burying  
cheese.   
  
That's another thing! I can't bury anything in this tin can!   
Not only can't they bring along a tree, I don't have any dirt  
either. And I had to leave behind all those neat things I buried  
behind Papa's house. Of course he'll never will find out about  
the golf balls I buried under the porch.  
  
Anyway, I figured out that after this ship stops shaking I'm  
going to go looking for that bitch.  
  
End Log  
  
  
Email please to kelhapam@worldpath.net  
  



	3. Porthos' Strange New World Log

Porthos' "Strange New World" Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Strange New World" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1  
NEW  
Date: October 2001  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.  
Special thanks to Danae who's Delta Dog stories inspired me.  
  
  
Puppy log...Date: three days after I tore up Papa's slipper.  
  
Papa said it! He did!!! He did!!! He said goferride! I love  
goferride. Wait a minute, I know I'm already in the middle of a  
goferride, but this was just different. We went from the big tin  
can, to a little tin can. Well it wasn't much, but it was a  
ride-- kinda--and I did spend some time with Papa and his  
friends--even that lady friend of Papa's who doesn't like me. I  
can tell she doesn't, her nose squinches all up when she comes  
into to see me and Papa.  
  
Well the little tin can finally stopped and I thought we were  
back home. There was grass and trees and rocks and grass and  
dirt and grass...oh and did I tell you there was grass? I like  
the way grass feels between my puppy toes.  
  
Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time....I marked. I  
marked a tree, and a rock, and another tree, and a bush After  
all, someone had to get them back to the little tin can if we got  
lost. By marking, I'd be able to sniff my way back. But then  
Trip, Papa's friend, started laughing at me. He said I was  
running on empty. I was lifting my leg, but nothing was coming  
out. I was very embarrassed. Too much marking, I guess. I was  
just too excited. I wanted to do something to help.  
  
Then as soon as goferride had started, I was back on the big tin  
can again. I didn't even have enough time to dig a hole or roll  
in something really stinky.  
  
Maybe I can stay longer next time. I wonder if the bitch would  
like to roll around in something stinky with me? I'll ask her  
when I find her.  
  
End Log.  
  
Email to kelhapam@worldpath.  
  
  



	4. Porthos "Unexpected" Log

Porthos#4 
    
    Porthos' "Unexpected" Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]
    
    Title: Porthos' "Unexpected" Log
    Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.
    Series: ENT
    Rating: G
    Code: Porthos
    Part: 1/1
    NEW
    Date: October 2001
    Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?
    
    Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just using
    the characters for a little fun and relaxation.
    Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.
    Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.
    Special thanks to Danae who's Delta Dog stories inspired me.
    
    
    Puppy log...I've given up trying to figure out the time...everyday is
    just about the same out here.
    
    Well, he has me doing tricks now. If it wasn't enough being stuck
    out here without trees or dirt, now he has me begging for my supper!
    Seems like he should be begging -me- for forgiveness. He finds this
    an adventure, I think this is more like a kennel floating in space. 
    
    He's been working for weeks trying to get me to balance on my hind
    legs. I played along. Humans are so gul...gell...they believe
    anything...and they are so per...pur... um... they never give up. I
    could have done this begging thing the first time Papa showed me, but
    it's nice to see how bad he wants me to do something. When I finally
    did it, Papa was so happy I got double cheese rations! Wooo eeee.
    Now he's trying to work on something called 'roll over.' I wonder
    how long I'll make him suffer this time? 
    
    Hmmm. Of course, if he were to let me see the bitch then maybe I
    could be convinced to do it quicker. Papa doesn't know that I'm
    working on my own tricks...like getting out of this room. If he
    won't bring that other dog to me, I'm gonna go find her myself!
    
    P.S.
    
    Papa's been busy this week with his friend Trip. Trip came into see
    Papa and showed him these little bumps on his arm. Don't really know
    why, but after I saw that I had dreams about my doggie Mama. I miss
    her.
    
    End Log.
    
    
    End Log.
    
    Email to kelhapam@worldpath.
    


	5. Porthos "Terra Nova" Log

Porthos 
    
    Porthos' Terra Nova Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]
    
    Title: Porthos' "Terra Nova" Log
    Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.
    Series: ENT
    Rating: G
    Code: Porthos
    Part: 1/1
    NEW
    Date: October 2001
    Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?
    
    Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just
    using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.
    Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.
    Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else. 
    
    Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me.
    
    
    Puppy Log. Stardate....I told you, I don't care what the date
    is.
    
    
    Hmmm, where to begin....
    
    Let's see....
    
    It was a dark, stormy night.....
    
    Naw, that sounds like the start of a story...maybe I can work on
    that later. 
    
    Anyway, I'm mad at Papa. He went goferride and he didn't take
    me! He left me here in this space kennel all by myself. I
    played with my ball for a while and my chewy bone. Then I slept,
    dreamed of the bitch and woke back up again. Then I played with
    my toys some more. Do you detect a pattern? Well it might have
    become more of a pattern 'cept my ball rolled under Papa's bed
    and I couldn't get it out. AND THERE'S NO ONE HERE TO HELP ME!
    AND THERE'S NOTHING TO EAT, NOT EVEN ANY CHEESE!!! 
    
    HOOOOWWWWLLLL!!!!!
    
    Well that didn't do any good. No one came to help. I couldn't
    even practice on getting out of this room without people coming
    and going. 
    
    *Whimper*
    
    I think I should write a story. I could write a story about a
    dog lost in space. Maybe I should use a pen name. I wonder if
    Snoopy is taken? 
    
    End log.
    
    
    Email of course is appreciated. kelhapam@worldpath.net 


	6. Porthos "Andorian Incident" Log

Title 
    
    Title: Porthos' "The Andorian Incident" Log
    Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net
    Series: ENT
    Rating: G
    Code: Porthos
    Part: 1/1
    NEW
    Date: November 2001
    Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?
    
    Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just
    using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.
    Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net
    Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.
    Special thanks to Danae who's Delta Dog stories inspired me.
    
    
    Puppy Log...
    
    Papa didn't come home tonight. I was just about ready to claw
    the door down when one of Papa's friends came in. His name is
    Malcolm. I hadn't spent much time with this Malcolm, but I liked
    him. I liked him even more when he let me out of the cabin. He
    took my bed, some of my toys and led me down the corridor and
    into another room--a room that smelled just like him. He put my
    bed down, placed my toys all around it and the let me off my
    lead. He told me that he was doing everything he could to get
    Papa back home safely. Maybe it was the way he spoke, but I
    believed him. He talked different that Papa and not anything
    like Trip, but his voice sounded good to my ears. Then he
    started....
    
    Back and forth, forth and back he walked. Sometimes he'd stop
    mumble to himself, place a hand to his chin, and then he'd start
    in again. I finally got tired of watching him and I knew he must
    be tired too, so I whimpered softly. When he didn't stop pacing
    right away, I whimpered again. Humans can't resist a whimper,
    and Malcolm was no different. He stopped in front of me and
    dropped to his knees. He scratched me under the chin and he
    rubbed my ears--I like that part best. Give me a good ol' ear
    rub any day...but back to my story.
    
    He asked me if I was trying to tell him something. Humans are so
    dense. Of course I was trying to tell him something! I wanted
    him to turn off the lights so we could get some sleep. I guess
    he got the hint, because soon the room was dark and he was laying
    down on the bed. He didn't even bother to get undressed. Weird.
    But then he did something that really surprised me. He reached
    down and brought me up on the bed too. I guess he needed the
    comfort, and if he was going to rub my ears and let me lay up on
    a soft bed, I wasn't going to complain. 
    
    Hmmm. I wonder if the bitch likes her ears rubbed. If Malcolm
    doesn't know, and Papa doesn't, I'll have to ask Trip...he might
    know.
    
    Time for bed.
    
    End log
    
    Email to kelhapam@worldpath.net


	7. Porthos 'Breaking the Ice' Log

Porthos7 
    
    Title: Porthos' "Breaking the Ice" Log
    Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net
    Series: ENT
    Rating: G
    Code: Porthos, Tr, T
    Part: 1/1
    NEW
    Date: November 2001
    Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?
    
    Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just
    using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.
    Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net
    Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.
    Special thanks to Danae who's Delta Dog stories inspired me and
    to "TopDog" for betaing for me.
    
    
    Puppy Log...
    
    
    Well I got out of Papa's room again....and I got out without him
    even noticing it until it was too late. I slipped through the
    door when Papa left his room and followed him through the ship.
    He has his mission, and I had mine. I was going to find that
    bitch no matter what...even if bunnies were to cross my path, I
    was determined to find her.
    
    Papa kept walking, but it was more like marching towards his
    destination. And I followed sniffing along the way. *not a
    bunny, not a bunny, not a bitch, not a bunny, not a bitch* I
    wasn't having much luck either way...no bunny and no honey...but
    then I smelled it. "FOOD!"
    
    It was then that Papa saw me, but it was too late for him to send
    me back. So I slipped under the table. Trip was already there,
    and there was some lady with pointy ears and some guy with pointy
    ears too. After they all sat down, Trip reached under the table
    and scratched my ear. Then I heard Papa make that throat noise
    and Trip stopped. I was completely bummed out so I lay down on
    the floor between Trip and that point eared lady. I didn't like
    the smell of that pointy eared man, so I stayed away from him. I
    paid careful attention in case anything dropped to the floor, and
    just in case the bitch might show up. The only thing I got was a
    piece of food that Trip snuck me. Well and occasionally Trip
    would scratch my back with his boot. Sometimes the lady would
    run the tip of her boot down my port side. *snicker...I'm
    learning things on this ship that other dogs will never learn.*
    If it wasn't for me, Trip and the lady would be touching toes.
    Good thing I was there to stop them. Some reason I don't think
    the pointy eared guy would like that.
    
    I hope I have better luck next time finding the bitch. I'll let
    you know. Right now I'm grounded or as Papa says *confined to
    quarters*. He didn't like it that I escaped.
    
    End log.
    
    Email to kelhapam@worldpath.net


	8. Porthos "Civilization" Log

Porthos' Civilization Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos, R][G]
    
    Title: Porthos' "Civilization" Log
    Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.
    Series: ENT
    Rating: G
    Code: Porthos, R
    Part: 1/1
    NEW
    Date: November 2001
    Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?
    
    Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just
    using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.
    Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.
    Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else. 
    
    Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and
    to Senior and to Top Dog for beta reading for me.
    
    
    Puppy Log. Stardate....two days after Papa left the ship.
    
    Well, Papa did it again. He went on a goferride and left me
    behind. So here I am back with Malcolm waiting for Papa to come
    back to me.
    
    Papa, Trip, that Pointy-Eared Lady, and the lady with the soft
    voice, all got dressed up, had Dr. Phloxie put funny bumps on
    their foreheads, and left the ship. I wonder if they took that
    bitch with them?
    
    I whimpered tonight, I was so embarrassed. I have boldly gone
    where no beagle has gone before, and I'm such a cry baby. I miss
    Papa talking to me. We have these really long talks, and I tell
    him lots of neat things. Did you know the ship makes funny
    noises at night? Or that Papa snores so loud it wakes me up
    sometimes? Or that sometimes Trip and that Pointy-Eared Lady try
    and touch each other's feet under the table? I don't think Papa
    always understands me, but he pretends he does and that's good
    enough for me.
    
    Malcolm did seem to understand I was missing Papa and he'd reach
    down from where he sat and would scratch my back. Then he'd go
    back to reading. Every once in a while, I'd hear him mumble
    something about "Boom." It seemed to make him happy, so I barked
    every time he said it. He'd "Boom" and I'd bark. Boom-
    Bark...Boom-Bark, boy did we have rhythm.
    
    We had a lot of fun, but in the end I let out a whimper again, I
    couldn't help it. Malcolm must have felt really sorry for me,
    because he went over to that hole in the wall and spoke to it.
    Then he came back to me and gave me some doggie bones. I'll have
    to remember to whimper around Malcolm more often.
    
    End log.
    
    
    Email to kelhapam@worldpath.net
    


	9. Porthos "Fortunate Son" Log

Porthos' Fortunate Son Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Fortunate Son" Log   
Contact: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1   
NEW  
Date: November 2001  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
  
Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net.  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.   
  
Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and  
to Senior, Ronda, and to Top Dog for beta reading for me.  
  
  
Puppy Log. Stardate...I'm too tired to remember.  
  
It's bad enough that the ship rocks back and forth too much  
sometimes and wakes me up. I also don't like it when Papa  
doesn't get home some nights. But when you get woken up in the  
middle of the night by some kinda silly phone call, it's too  
much! I'm thinking of telling Papa I want another assignment--  
either that or my own personal quarters. It wouldn't have to be  
too big just enough for me...well me and maybe that other dog on  
the ship...you know the bitch.   
  
That's it! If I had my own pad...my own little kennel, maybe I  
could come and go when I wanted to. I wouldn't have to wait  
until Papa or one of his friends took me out for a walk. Then I  
could find her! Yes! Whatta plan!   
  
I could even pay visits to all of my human friends on the ship.   
At Trip's place I could get my back scratched and he could share  
some of his p'khan pie with me. Or I could go to Malcolm's and  
he could rub my ears and we could sing together again....BOOM  
BARK! BOOM BARK! I haven't visited with Travis yet, but they  
tell me he likes dogs too.   
  
Maybe I could even throw some parties. They could call me the  
Party Pup! I'd invite all the ladies...Hoshi could come and so  
could that lady with the pointy ears. Seems like the Pointy-  
Eared Lady could use some puppy therapy, she always looks so sad.   
I don't think she ever had a puppy of her own *whimper*. That  
probably explains why she always looks so blue.  
  
Right now though, Papa needs me, so I guess I'll stay. I can  
tell he gets upset sometimes, and sometimes he's the one that  
needs the comfort. If I play my cards right maybe tonight he'll  
let me sleep on top of the bed.   
  
Until then, I think I'll take a nap...  
  
...or two  
  
...or three.   
  
*YAWN*  
  
  
End log.  
  
  
  
Email to kelhapam@worldpath.net 


	10. Porthos "Cold Front" Log

Porthos' Cold Front Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Cold Front" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1  
NEW  
Date: December 2001  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.  
Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and  
to Senior and to Top Dog for beta reading for me.  
  
  
Puppy Log. Stardate....day after I became a hero.  
  
They tell me I'm a hero. Me? All I did was bark, but they said  
that helped a lot. All bark and no bite...how brave is that?  
  
After all the excitement died down, all of Papa's friends came to  
visit me.  
  
Malcolm rubbed my ears and said that I'd make a good security  
officer. He said he'd put me on Suliban Security. Thanks, but no  
thanks.  
  
Dr. Phloxx called me a good boy for looking after Daddy after he  
fell down, and told me I'd make a good nurse.  
  
Hoshi was very sweet. She smiled at me and said something to me I  
didn't understand--but I liked the sound of her voice.  
  
Trip promised me when we got back home, he'd take me on a voyage  
to see Paris. He said he knew a nice female beagle there once.  
Then Travis piped up and said he knew people in Paris too, some  
guy named Bobby McNeill...he said he was a lot of fun, liked  
dogs, and was also a pretty good pilot.  
  
And the lady with the pointy ears just stood there..I don't think  
she likes dogs very much. It's very sad.  
  
And Papa...Papa was very proud of me. He gave me extra cheese and  
took me on a really long walk.  
  
Well I may not be a hero, but if everyone wants to think that I  
am, I don't think I'm going to argue. And, it might help to  
attract that bitch...couldn't hurt.  
  
  
End log.  
  
  
email to kelhapam@metrocast.net.  
  
  
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=  
http://www.metrocast.net/~kelhapam  
  
"The wind softly stirs the cold ashes  
Caressing the lost beauty laying there  
Sad ending of a life now forfeit  
Among the coals a bright spark flashes  
  
Rising with triumphant grace and fire  
Glorious plumage and eyes of blue  
Beating wings lifting him to the skies  
The need to fly his only desire"  
  
Excerpt from Phoenix by Phyllis J. Sutherland  
  
Join Still4Robbie, a mailing list that talks about the career of  
and news  
about Robert Duncan McNeill, formerly Lt. Tom Paris of the  
Starship Voyager.  
Join at: still4robbie-subscribe@yahoogroups.com 


	11. Porthos "Silent Enemy" Log

Porthos' Silent Enemy Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Silent Enemy" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1 NEW   
Date: January 2002  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.  
Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and  
to Top Dog for beta reading for me.  
  
Silent Enemy Log  
01/02  
  
  
All this fuss about what to get Malcolm for his birthday..It's so  
funny. No one knows what to get him for a present, but I do.   
  
Papa even went to the trouble and called Malcolm's parents.   
Afterwards Papa didn't seem too happy that he had called them. He  
just kept on shaking his head sadly and mumbling something about  
it being unbelievable.   
  
I jumped up on his knee and tried to make Papa happy, but it  
wasn't easy. He seemed determined to be blue. Finally I had to  
resort to begging and rolling around on the deck before he  
smiled. It's nice to know that I can make him feel better.  
  
Then we went for a walk with Trip...I like Trip, he always talks  
to me, some of the other people on this tin can never say  
anything to me. I don't know if they are afraid of dogs or what!   
Anyway, Papa asked Trip if he knew what Malcolm's favorite food  
was, but Trip didn't know. I seems like no one really knows much  
about Malcolm. Kinda sad I think. Trip did say that one of his  
favorite foods is something called catfish!!! Guess Trip and I  
have something in common...not that I've eaten any cats, but I'd  
like to try some time, even if the cat has fins and can swim.   
Trip also said something about Papa's ears getting pointier. I  
took a good long look, they look the same to me. I don't think  
Papa's turning into a Pointer. I don't think peoples can do  
that...but I'll keep watch for it it case it happens.  
  
Well back to Malcolm. Papa asked Hoshi if she could help him  
find out about his favorite food. Papa says that she worked very  
hard to find out. She even called Malcolm's sister and his best  
friend, but they couldn't help either.  
  
And through all this the ship kept on getting bounced around. It  
made a lot of noise too and hurt my ears. I spent a lot of time  
hiding...ummm... keeping guard...yeah that's right....under  
Papa's bed. Finally the noise stopped and the tin can stopped  
shaking, and it wasn't long before we were back to normal.   
  
Hoshi found out, with some help from that weird looking guy who  
works in Sickbay, that Malcolm's favorite food was pineapple.   
Pineapple!?!? They go to all this trouble for a cake with  
pineapple in the middle!!!????!! Now I could have come up with a  
really good birthday present for him....how about a puppy? A  
nice cute female type puppy!!!  
  
HOOOOOWWWWWLLLL!!!!!  
  
Yeah, that's the ticket!!!  
  
End log  
  
Email please to: kelhapam@metrocast.net 


	12. Porthos Dear Doctor Log

Porthos' Dear Doctor Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Silent Enemy" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1 NEW   
Date: January 2002  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.  
Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and  
to Top Dog, Senior, Tracy, and Ronda for beta reading for me.  
  
Dear Doctor Log  
01/02  
  
Well just when I thought it couldn't get any worse... it did.   
Not only did I discover that the funny looking man is not only  
the crew's doctor, he's also my vet! And I thought there might  
be some benefit to being in this tin can! I thought I didn't  
have to make visits to the vet in space!   
  
To top it off, Mr. Funny tells me that I can't have cheese any  
more. It's not fair I tell you. First they tempt me with having  
a bitch on board that I can't find, and now one of my little joys  
has been taken away. How much harm can a lil-cheese cause? Huh?  
Papa says I don't want to know.   
  
I felt so blue that when Papa picked me up off Mr. Funny's table  
I had my tail between my legs. Papa wasn't very happy either.   
What's he going to do with a storage locker full of cheese?   
Maybe he can give it to the Chef and he can make maki-oni and  
cheese and grilled cheesie sandwiches. Everyone can have some  
cheese 'cept me. It's not fair I tell you!!! HHOOOOWWWWLL!!!!  
  
Papa let me go to supper with him as a special treat tonight. I  
sat in the dining room with Papa, Trip, and the Pointy Eared  
Lady. Papa told Trip and the Pointy Eared Lady about my visit to  
Mr. Funny. Shouldn't some things remain private, like doctor's  
visits!?!?   
  
Well I actually made out in the end. Trip felt so sorry for me,  
he kept on sneaking me little bites of food. I had a few little  
pieces of steak and a couple bites of French fries. I'll have to  
remember to sit beside Trip more often. He treats me good.   
  
As for the Pointy Eared Lady, she just sat there. Every time  
Trip gave me a treat she gave him this weird look. She kinda  
stared at him, but it looked cold. It was pretty funny though to  
see her try and eat an ear of corn. Never saw someone try and  
eat it with just a fork before. Trip and Papa tried hard not to  
laugh.  
  
After we ate, Papa took me on a walk through the ship. I saw  
lots of people and got lots of scratches and pats on the head. I  
like almost everyone on the ship except Mr. Funny and, well, I  
haven't figured out the Pointy-Eared Lady yet.   
  
End Log  
  
  
email to kelhapam@metrocast.net 


	13. Porthos Sleeping Dog Log

Porthos' Sleeping Dog Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Sleeping Dog" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1 NEW   
Date: January 2002  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.  
Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and  
to Senior and Ronda for beta reading for me.  
  
Sleeping Dog Log  
01/31  
  
I heard her!!! I did!! I did!!!  
  
And I had just about given up on finding her, but now I have  
hope!!!!  
  
I followed Papa through the ship, and the more we walked the more  
I could hear the bitch. She had a wonderful bark. Really  
throaty, the kinda that makes a dog want to bark and mean it.  
  
The more we walked though, the more I began to wonder just what  
type of dog it was. She sounded big. Very big! What if she  
didn't like me? What if she took one look at me and then she  
didn't want me?   
  
But hey, I told myself, I'm the Captain's dog! Maybe I wasn't as  
big as she was, but I had the one thing that a lot of chicks  
wanted...I had POWER!!!   
  
So I stood tall...well as tall as a beagle could, and I tried to  
look conph...confy...um...sure of myself.   
  
Then we stopped.  
  
And I saw her....  
  
My heart fell to my puppy toes....  
  
It wasn't a dog growling, it was some lady with bumpy things on  
her forehead!!! And just when I thought I had finally found my  
bitch!!!  
  
I think I'm going to go back to my cabin, chew on Papa's slipper  
and go to sleep, and pretend it never happened.   
  
End log.  
  
email to kelhapam@metrocast.net 


	14. Porthos "Shadows of P'Jem" Log

Porthos' Shadows of P'Jem Log, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Shadows of P'Jem" Log  
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
Series: ENT  
Rating: G  
Code: Porthos  
Part: 1/1 NEW   
Date: February 2002  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just  
using the characters for a little fun and relaxation.  
Email: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else.  
Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me and  
to Top Dog, Senior, and Ronda for beta reading for me.  
  
Shadows of P'Jem Log  
02/02  
  
I'm bored.   
  
I've played with all my toys. I'm still trying to get to that  
thing that makes my toy hamburger go squeak. I've chewed on  
Papa's slippers and pulled off all the covers off his bed.  
  
But I'm still bored.  
  
Everyone left me. Papa is making a habit of this and I don't  
like it one bit! And when he comes back I'm going to tell him!  
  
I'm going to make Papa sit down and tell him what it's like to be  
left alone. If he has to leave the ship all the time, at least  
he can find me a playmate. I think I've been more than patient  
about finding that bitch. It's time for Papa to bring her to me.   
At least I'd have something to do while Papa and his friends were  
off the ship.  
  
We could get together and have romantic dinners. We could have a  
Lady and the Tramp date, complete with candles. I love  
psh..sha...spah...noodles. You know those long noddles like Lady  
and the Tramp had on their date? I would start eating one end,  
the bitch the other, and then when we got to the middle I'd plant  
a nose-slurp on her. She wouldn't be able to resist me. I have  
it all -- power and pizzaz! How could she resist me?  
  
Ensign Mayweather should be along soon to take me for a walk.   
It's his turn, Hoshi came last time. They all take turns looking  
out for me when Papa's away. Maybe Travis will take me to see  
Chef so I can make plans. But first, I suppose I should find the  
bitch. In the meantime, I think I'll shake Papa's sheets and  
chew on his slippers some more.  
  
End Log.  
  
  
Email please to: kelhapam@metrocast.net 


	15. Porthos Impulse Log

Porthos' Impulse, 1/1, [ENT] [Porthos][G]  
  
Title: Porthos' "Impulse" Log  
  
Contact: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Series: ENT  
  
Rating: G  
  
Code: Porthos  
  
Part: 1/1 NEW  
  
Date: October 2003  
  
Summary: What is a puppy to do on an away mission?  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all the characters, etc. I'm just using the characters for a little fun and relaxation. Email: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Posting: Ok, to ASC, please notify me if you post any where else. Special thanks to Danae whose Delta Dog stories inspired me.  
  
Impulse Log 10/03  
  
I know I haven't written in a long while, but Papa caught me last time, and then he put the computer thing up higher so I couldn't reach it. I don't know if he wasn't happy because I can write a better log than he can, or that I left doggie bone crumbies all over the keyboard...maybe both.  
  
Well Papa went out on another mission, but this time forgot and left a storage box next to his chair and I was finally able to reach the keyboard again. Did you miss me? I know I've missed you, but I'm going to be really really careful this time. I don't want to get caught again. I haven't even touched the doggie biscuit Papa left for me. I've licked all my paws clean and I'm saving my treat for after I'm done.  
  
First I should tell you that since I last wrote we went home for a bit...back to Earth. It was fun finding all my old trees and rocks in the dog park, but I was a little upset that the bush that I used to pee was gone. And they didn't even ask me if they could do it! I loved that bush! Every time I had to -- as Papa calls it "bleed the beagle" -- I'd do it behind that bush. It was nice and private. But not any more. Now with the bush gone, I have to go do my business out in the open near the ditch. It's just not the same. But just when I was getting used to all the changes, we had to get back on that tin can again! Then we went some place that was really strange. I don't like it when my doggie toys fly up into the air or when the water in my bowl splashes me in the face. Also when I goferwalks sometimes the floor moves up and down and sideways. Figures, just when I got my four space legs back, I have to worry about my four sea legs....It ain't fair! But it is kinda fun watching all my human friends falling over. Malcolm does pretty good though. Papa says he was born with sea legs Maybe I'll go see Malcolm and see if he can give me some tips for walking when the decks rolling.  
  
Regarding the search for the Bitch...I'm still looking, but I don't even know if she's on the ship any more. I don't hear her name much. But I do know Phloxie has more animules in his place. I can't wait to terrorize the tribble and the bat!  
  
Right now, I think I better get down and see if Papa has a pair of slippers I can chew on until he gets back, it might help quiet my tummy.  
  
End Log.  
  
Comments please: kelhapam@metrocast.net  
  
Since the previous log was written in early 2002, "Remi" my inspiration (our black lab), contracted lymphoma and was put to sleep the end of last year. In August, on the way back from a vacation in North Carolina, we brought back a puppy my daughter (who attends college in Virginia) rescued from a local pound. The puppy's name is Tucker (the daughter named him, and didn't name him after Enterprise's Chief Engineer). I added the middle name of Remus after the werewolf in the Harry Potter books. He's 6- 1/2 months old now, is about 23 lbs., and appears to have a lot of terrier in him. I won't make any promises as to any more logs...it all depends on my muse and inspiration. Thanks to all in the past (and hopefully future) who have left reviews. 


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